04/01/11
03/31/11
03/30/11
03/29/11
03/28/11
03/27/11
03/26/11
03/25/11
I forgot how to ride a bkie.
03/24/11
Do tires get dizzy?
03/23/11
03/22/11
03/21/11
03/20/11
03/19/11
03/18/11
03/17/11
03/16/11
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
03/15/11
Even snakes are afraid of snakes.
03/14/11
I'm planning on being spontaneous tomorrow.
03/13/11
If Barbie is so popular, why does she have to buy her friends?
03/12/11
Being fantastic has it's disadvantages!
03/11/11
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to walk it.
03/10/11
My foot just fell asleep and now it's going to be up all night!
03/09/11
I'm thinking about playing strip poker naked.
03/08/11
I would KILL for a Nobel PEACE Prize!
03/07/11
How do you know when you run out of invisible ink?
03/06/11
I'm washing my hair with REALpoo, enough of this SHAMpoo!
03/05/11
I'm trying to levitate birds, I think it might be working.
03/04/11
I torture plants by watering them with ice cubes.
03/03/11
Is it me or should Oprah be on a box of pancakes?
03/02/11
Toilet bowls are like most people, full of shit!
03/01/11
Where do people park that work in a fire hydrant factory?
02/28/11
I'm thinking about getting a cat, but I decided to take a nap instead...a cat nap!
02/27/11
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
02/26/11
I can't take the snow in New York anymore, I need the sun...here I come Seattle!
02/25/11
There's only one way to hit a gorilla, you hit him with everything you got. So go out and hit a gorilla!
02/24/11
I have Beaver fever...hi ladies!
02/23/11
Can toilet bowls get mad? If so mines pissed!
02/22/11
What does it mean when a person says they have the magic touch? Does a rabbit come out of your ass after they touch you?
02/21/11
I want to be just like you when I die.
02/20/11
Does anyone else have a problem with Parker Brothers being the only company making the game Monopoly?
02/19/11
I'm gonna live until I die.
02/18/11
If you drink don't drive, don't even putt.
02/17/11
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
02/16/11
After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
02/15/11
I'm considering taking a baby shower.
02/14/11
Why don't we make the fattest person on the planet a hockey goalie?
02/13/11
How young can you die of old age?
02/12/11
Are rooms always room temperature?
02/11/11
Can you get arrested for using illegal size paper?
02/10/11
I like being the only person in the room because this way I can be the smartest person in the room.
02/09/11
Why was the TV show called, "Good Times", when it was about life in the ghetto. It should have been called, "Bad Times".
02/08/11
If I was missing a foot, could I have been in Footloose?
02/07/11
If you buy the Adam Lambert cd, does that make you gay?
02/06/11
They say life is short, but does that go for midgets?
02/05/11
I'm thinking of starting a clothing line for midgets, I'll start with shorts first!
02/04/11
What if cars had no radios, would we still rock out?
02/03/11
What if monkey's owned companies, would it be considered monkey business?
02/02/11
What if flowers smelled bad, would people still want to get them?
02/01/11
I would love to make a marshmallow bed. Just think how soft it would be.
01/31/11
Why isn't it a crime to beat eggs? Doesn't anybody care about eggs?
01/30/11
Why do there call them animal crackers when they are cookies. They should be called animal cookies!